Love; a word that cannot be defined.
A word whose appearance is not as it seems,
For if you find yourself all intertwined,
You’ll find that love will haunt you in your dreams.
A word that if could last forever more,
Would take away most sorrow and all pain,
Despite this, you would it never for
A world devoid of suffer, love would have no gain.
In this world all whom we love will pass on,
And their love for us may come to an end.
But love can boast an everlasting bond,
And near nor far on love you can depend.
The loss of loved ones is when love excels,
It lends a helping hand to say farewell.
For my sonnet, I decided to make a piece about love. In today’s world love is all around us, and is what ultimately makes life bearable. You could have all the material goods the world has to offer, but still feel like there’s something more to life. On the other hand, you could have nothing to call your own except your family, and you could feel like the luckiest person in the world. As humans, we feel a need to love and be loved by others. In Love is Forever, I tried emphasize how important love is to all of us.
In the first line, I started out with, “Love; a word that cannot be defined.” I wrote this because to define love would be impossible. Love’s the greatest feeling in the world, unlike any other. It can tangle knots inside of you like nothing else can, and it can capture your mind and focus 24 hours a day. That’s the reason I wrote, “For if you find yourself all intertwined, you’ll find that love will haunt you in your dreams.” I added the word “haunt” because that’s how love affects you. You can see yourself having a good time with this person in the dream, and yet when you awaken, you find yourself lying in bed all by your lonesome. And you end up doubting whether you will ever have this strong a relationship with this person. The purpose of the second line in the first paragraph is to state this. You would imagine that love would be all fun and games, but rarely does love not have its difficulties.
Despite some of these cons, it seems whatever pain you were feeling previously disappears instantly when in the presence of love. This is why I wrote, “A word that if could last forever more, would take away most sorrow and all pain.” If you could love someone or something for all eternity, pain would probably vanish. However, if you have never felt pain or sorrow before, how can you appreciate the true value of love? “Despite this, you would it never for a world devoid of suffer, love would have no gain.” If there were no pain in the world, love would be useless. Love helps us through difficult times, and without difficult times love would have no purpose. In the same way you can’t come to appreciate light without dark, you can’t come to appreciate love without pain.
Everyone in our lives will eventually pass on, whether we like it or not. And, when they do, we may feel for a short while that their love for us has ended. "In this world all whom we love will pass on, and their love for us may come to an end.” However, it’s in these situations that love truly shines. Although a family member has either passed on or in some other part of the world, you can still feel connected to them through love. “But love can boast an everlasting bond, and near nor far on love you can depend.” I really believe in this because whether it’s my sisters going away to college or the loss of a family member, I can always feel attached to them through the memories I have and the love I have for them.
“The loss of loved ones is when love excels, it lends a helping hand to say farewell.” Like I said before, love will help console you if you lose a loved one. In fact, this may be the purpose of love. You may have all the good times when they’re alive, but when they’re gone you become a better person. You become a better person because you learn how to cope with tough times. And, you always have those memories to look back on. Being mortal beings our lives will come to a close, but our love for one another will at last be what holds us together.
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Love; a word that cannot be defined.
A word whose appearance is not as it seems,
For if you find yourself all intertwined,
You’ll find that love will haunt you in your dreams.
A word that if could last forever more,
Would take away most sorrow and all pain,
Despite this, you would it never for
A world devoid of suffer, love would have no gain.
In this world all whom we love will pass on,
And their love for us may come to an end.
But love can boast an everlasting bond,
And near nor far on love you can depend.
The loss of loved ones is when love excels,
It lends a helping hand to say farewell.
For my (this) sonnet, I decided to make a piece about love. In today’s world love is all around us, and is what ultimately makes life bearable. You could have all the material goods the world has to offer, but still feel like there’s something more to life. On the other hand, you could have nothing to call your own except your family, and you could feel like the luckiest person in the world. As humans, we feel a need to love and be loved by others. In Love is Forever, I tried emphasize how important love is to all of us.
In the first line, I started out with, “Love; a word that cannot be defined.” I wrote this because to define love would be impossible. (Yes, love is a word that could have many meanings but you could spruce up your paper by telling us what your definition of love is. Is it the love of your family as you referred to earlier or is it something else?) Love’s (Love is) the greatest feeling in the world, unlike any other. It can tangle knots inside of you like nothing else can, and it can capture your mind and focus 24 hours a day. That’s the reason I wrote, “For if you find yourself all intertwined, you’ll find that love will haunt you in your dreams.” I added the word “haunt” because that’s how love affects you. You can see yourself having a good time with this person in the dream, and yet when you awaken, you find yourself lying in bed all by your lonesome. ( Has this ever happened to you? You relate most of your paper to the broad umbrella of humanity but I think it would be great if you were to add details about your life.) And you (Take out And, capitalize you) end up doubting whether you will ever have this strong a relationship with this person. The purpose of the second line in the first paragraph is to state this. (Unnecessary) You would imagine that love would be all fun and games, but rarely does love not have its difficulties.
Despite some of these cons, it seems whatever pain you were feeling previously, (Comma) disappears instantly when in the presence of love. This is why I wrote, (Use something else. You already said this. You might not need it at all if you put your reason before the quote.)“A word that if could last forever more, would take away most sorrow and all pain.” If you could love someone or something for all eternity, pain would probably vanish. ( You could add something about problems you think might be fixed in our world if you could love something for all eternity.) However, if you have never felt pain or sorrow before, how can you appreciate the true value of love? “Despite this, you would it never for a world devoid of suffer, love would have no gain.” If there were no pain in the world, love would be useless. Love helps us through difficult times, and without difficult times love would have no purpose. In the same way you can’t come to appreciate light without dark, you can’t come to appreciate love without pain.
Everyone in our lives will eventually pass on, whether we like it or not. And, when ( You shouldn’t start sentences with and. Take out “and” and capitalize when.) they do, we may feel for a short while that their love for us has ended. "In this world all whom we love will pass on, and their love for us may come to an end.” However, it’s in these situations that love truly shines. Although a family member has either passed on or in some other part of the world, you can still feel connected to them through love. “But love can boast an everlasting bond, and near nor far on love you can depend.” I really believe in this because whether it’s my sisters going away to college or the loss of a family member, I can always feel attached to them through the memories I have and the love I have for them.
“The loss of loved ones is when love excels, it lends a helping hand to say farewell.” Like I said before, love will help console you if you lose a loved one. In fact, this may be the purpose of love. You may have all the good times when they’re alive, but when they’re gone you become a better person. You become a better person because you learn how to cope with tough times. And, you always have those memories to look back on. Being mortal beings our lives will come to a close, but our love for one another will at last be what holds us together.
-Kevin. This is a really good paper. Just some helpful hints for the future you should never start a sentence with “and”. It doesn’t flow right. If you just fix these few little things your paper will be in great shape.
Grade:
Message: 20
Clarity: 19
Fluency: 19
Technique: 20
Voice: 19
Total: 97
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